Remember Me

My words hanging in the air are like a knife
They cut me within like the nails piercing me without
Remember me when ...
When I robbed, walked the streets as a robber
When I took all that I was and threw it to the dogs -
Covered by the night with a cloaked heart, it beats now
On high with you, amidst the shouting, the jeering
The sneering crowd, but your eyes are beholding something else -
All that I never knew in this life; my last day is the same
As yours, this King of the Jews; my sin, your shame
Your shame, my covering; I am uncloaked in your nakedness -
Remember me when you come in your kingdom ...
The mist descending as the outline of another place takes shapes
I never could have imagined such an end to my fate -
In the pain searing through my limbs, in my fading sight
In my dying breath to find life, and be with you today Jesus, in paradise

My God, I'm Free

I’m free not to look within or without or around
I’m free to feed whatsoever I choose, drive myself underground
I’m free to uphold my word and my power however I like
I’m free to hide or unveil my notion of self, shivering or sweating it doesn’t matter
I’m free to descend into blind imagination, interior darkness a curtain drawn across my soul’s window
I’m free to be a widow tonight, grief at my fingertips infusing everything I touch
I’m free to twist, to beat, to turn figures of speech into towering archetypes to govern entire landscapes
I’m free to cast those shadow to the north, the south, the east, the west
I’m free to come back week after week - judge you, bring you down, vote you out
I’m free to change your destiny on the turning of my phrase
I’m free to reduce love to a set of hormonal responses
I’m free to relegate absolute essentials to the outer edges
I’m free to hedge my bets, say nothing to no one, listen to the silence and be comforted by the absence of presence

An Interview with Sarah Fordham

Sarah Fordham is a poet with a wealth of experience in writing, performing and collaborating with other artists. She freelanced in publishing for many years, working for Clio Press, MacMillian and Orion. Sarah runs creative writing workshops and is a popular seminar and conference speaker. Sarah is one of the founding members of the Sublime vision.

What is it that most excites you as a Christian in the arts at the moment?

Before I answer that question, I would want to say that being involved in the arts is not an easy thing. People may look at the end work and think 'wow, that's so deep' or 'so beautiful', but there is often a lot of pain, as well as joy, that goes into creating. I also think that an artist who is a Christian has certain challenges regarding church. The way that I have come to understand this is as a clash of cultures. Church culture is a very particular thing, often with a strong emphasis on just musical gifts, and the difficulty comes because the Christian artist stands very close to the prevailing culture. I see the clash as a postmodern/modern one. The postmodern mindset, like the artistic one, is subjective and intuitive, whilst the modern one is more objective and rational. I am not saying that I can't be objective and rational, but not in terms of my being an artist. I know many artists who find it hard to fit and find a place within their church and struggle with the form that church meetings take. Now, I believe that God is well able to speak through the subject(ive) and intuitive, as well as the object(ive) and rational, and that because He has created both, we need both. Our artists, under the right leadership and discipleship, could be a great help in achieving the balance we desperately need if the church is not to retreat into modernism and be able to connect with postmodern people coming through its doors for the first time

Now there is a shift afoot. Christian artists have often been in a difficult place, not understood by the church or the world. But now the general openness to spirituality, along with the desire of churches to be more 'culturally relevant', means that artists are perhaps being seen as potential bridge people between culture and church. I went to a lecture by Tom Wright a few years ago and he expressed it like this: the Christian artist is uniquely placed to stand between the two extremes in the secular art world of brutalism and sentimentality. The reason for this is that they can be both real about the reality of evil and demonstrate tangible eschatological hope. There is a great tension, he said, in holding this position between the Kingdom come and still coming. I guess this is true for all Christians, but the artistic gift, particularly when it is being prophetic, can bring a great deal of pressure as its exercise puts the artist directly in touch with the spiritual world. When this is the case the Christian artist needs prayer and support just like a frontline minister, intercessor or a missionary. The thing that would make me the most excited in the world is more recognition of this, as well as an understanding of how Christian artists are uniquely placed to help the church make the transition from modern to postmodern, in a way that would bring new life and energy within its walls, as well as help capture the imagination of those coming in for the first time.

Who most encouraged you to pursue your calling in the arts?

I would say that I have been sustained by the prayers of leaders and friends who affirm what I do because they affirm me, and that's not specifically to do with the arts. Church leaders who have sublimated their artistic gifts to do ministry I find very humbling and inspirational. Pope John Paul II was an actor and writer of some renown before he entered the priesthood. Rowan Williams is a poet. On a personal level, Faith Forster, who leads my church Ichthus with her husband Roger, is a very gifted poet and writer, and both have a deep appreciation of the arts. Both she and Roger have been great examples of leaders who encourage everyone to pursue their God-given calling in faith, whatever that may be. And then there are fellow-artists, like my brother Jonathan and my closest poetry collaborator, the Catholic Bard Sarah de Nordwall, who stand with me as peers, and that is an important aspect as well.

What were the main inspirations behind "The Cool of the Day" poems?

Each poem has a specific inspiration so it is hard to make a general statement, except to say that interacting with the Word of God has been incredibly important in my formation as a Christian poet. In terms of the title, The Cool of the Day, and the choice of poems for the collection, it was the idea to use the biblical narrative of the fall, redemption, incarnation, resurrection and homecoming in order to tell my own story that turned out to be the key in bringing out the book.

What advice would you give to someone wanting to get into writing poetry?

My main advice for those wanting to write poetry is to read it and then practice your craft. It is all too easy to be swept along on a tide of emotion when writing and not to go back over it, reflect on it, make adjustments. It is good as well to understand your motivation to write. I tell anyone starting out to read George Orwell's essays Why I Write and Politics of the English Language. Then go find your peers in that arena, whether in or out of the church. This was my advice when I was approached by a very bright 17 year old. She dutifully went to the open mic nights in the poetry café in Covent Garden and carried on sharing what she was writing on a regular basis. So, she developed writing good poetry, developed performance skills and went on to host her own poetry evening when at uni. Now in her mid-late 20s she has performed internationally and has her first poetry collection out - with one of the poems nominated for a Forward prize. That is a great achievement requiring talent, yes, but also a great deal of focus and hard work.

If you have a gift I would say, use it, develop it, find contexts for it, ask for and listen to feedback. Ask God to give you wisdom and understanding to work through it, ask others to pray for you, and if you don't have a community, then pray for one. Perhaps most importantly trust it - it says in the bible that your gift makes room for you (Prov 18:16). Self-consciousness is the enemy of real art, and the more we can be free of it, the more God is free to work through whatever gift He has given us to bring more Beauty, Truth and Goodness into His world.

The days are falling from the trees

"In such silence I hide,
a leaf released from the wind,
no longer anxious for the days that fall.
They must all fall. I know."
Karol Wojtyla, extract from Song of the Hidden God

The days are falling from the trees
Curled at the edges, different shaded covering the ground
And with the days tumble words of many kinds
Strong, sad, simple; forming piles to kick up
And discover the deepest meaning
Of the trunk of self as it irrevocably sheds its load

The days are falling from the trees
Like the letting go of love in the gentle breeze
A display of many-shaded brightness before
The stripping bare comes, comes slow
And then the downpour, and then the stillness
Of autumn pressing up against the soul

The days are falling from the trees
Revealing the structure bare against the skyline
The disintegrating heaps of weeks, months, years all mine
To have wasted, worked, whispered the wisdom
Stored in the roots, beneath bark, the rings within
Lord, may I be fully alive at the extremities until the final leaf falls

alms no more

As the monks marched through the streets of Burma’s cities leading the biggest antigovernment protests in two decades, some held their begging bowls before them. But instead of asking for their daily donations of food, they held the bowls upside down. The monks were refusing to receive alms from the military rulers and their families—effectively excommunicating them from the religion that is at the core of Burmese culture.

Cupid's Arrow

He has made My mouth like a sharp sword, In the shadow of His hand He has concealed Me; And He has also made Me a select arrow, He has hidden Me in His quiver. Isaiah 49:2

The Price of Blood

How do we betray?

How do we turn from the Good?

Exchange the True for vapour,

And so hurriedly hide Beauty’s face?

Why can we not stay?

What moves us away?

How do we forsake so quickly the Forsaken One?

Track through the darkness to nowhere so fast

And so soon evening falls with those 30 pieces of silver

Onto the temple sanctuary stone

How do we betray?

Remorse swelling in the secret chamber, swirling

Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide

Judas didn’t flee to God

Judas didn’t fall to his knees

The chief priests and elders might as well have been made

Of that sanctuary stone

Judas’ confession fell in the fading light upon the ears

Of unrelenting, unforgiving selfhood

What is that to us? See to that yourself ...

Where else was there to go?

Jesus hand and foot was bound

Friend, do what you have come for ...

Tell me, how do we betray?

And when it's done there's a mighty flood no man can stop

The price of blood set by Israel’s sons

O tell me, why do we betray?

30 pieces of silver shining in the moonlight

The Lord’s blood brought

What is our price?

What have we paid?

Blood to cover the earth and all that man has made

In every place; brought back that day

As all of God’s wealth slipped through His fingers

Did we not see the grave danger?

The burial place for strangers emitting a reddish glow

In the receding sun

With Israel’s son, apostate

Swinging in the breeze

Of unrelenting, unforgiving selfhood