Thought-fragment

Seen beyond the surface
Surfaced after a long time
Timed attack for ultimate damage
Damaged but touched by love
Loved towards night fall
Falling towards You

The inescapable Good
The indescribable Beauty
The indestructible Truth

late prayer

Wrestling until the dawning of light
Wounded-ness of that life-defining night
Limping into a new day

Prophecy

For Cyprian Norwid

There was no one
A human void left you voiceless
Save the creeping mystery flowing from your hands
The seeping history pouring from your eyes
Such starling Poetry blinking into daylight ...
Penniless and alone
You were right about only your son’s son
Reading you a right
Vanished in a pauper’s grave
The poet turns
The poet knew
The stones that I would step upon today

The people’s hands are indeed swollen with applause

My God, I'm Free

I’m free not to look within or without or around
I’m free to feed whatsoever I choose, drive myself underground
I’m free to uphold my word and my power however I like
I’m free to hide or unveil my notion of self, shivering or sweating it doesn’t matter
I’m free to descend into blind imagination, interior darkness a curtain drawn across my soul’s window
I’m free to be a widow tonight, grief at my fingertips infusing everything I touch
I’m free to twist, to beat, to turn figures of speech into towering archetypes to govern entire landscapes
I’m free to cast those shadow to the north, the south, the east, the west
I’m free to come back week after week - judge you, bring you down, vote you out
I’m free to change your destiny on the turning of my phrase
I’m free to reduce love to a set of hormonal responses
I’m free to relegate absolute essentials to the outer edges
I’m free to hedge my bets, say nothing to no one, listen to the silence and be comforted by the absence of presence

banner

peace settled after battle's edge had been blunted
and there was no wind from north, south, east or west
baby hushed, mama gone and hand raised like a flag
to herald victory's song

Craft

Reflection: Practice your Craft and you find a faithful friend. Don't leave, ignore or sell out Craft. Don't betray Craft, for in doing so you betray yourself. Build your life around the demands and visions of Craft. Otherwise you will die before dying. Craft will then give you air to breath in the midst of foul pollution; hope in the midst of scattered dreams.

Text: Exodus 31: See I have called you by name. I have filled you with the Spirit of God in wisdom and understanding, in knowledge and all kinds of craftsmanship, to make artistic designs ...
Judges 6.34: The Spirit of the Lord came upon Gideon and he blew a trumpet ...

Prayer: It is true in these days that your Spirit is given without measure, and that I am named and called by the Creator of the universe. I ask for wisdom and understanding to work through the gifts given to me. May I beautify your house and serve your holy name, like Bezalel of old. Please give me strength and grace this day to worship you and create in your image; as I am made, so may I make. Amen.

vain citadels not walled

what broke u down vain citadels?
winter underfoot and cold cold hands
empty eyes and a fierce wind from the east
to defy any notion of a loving god

what broke u down lost girl?
vanity vanity chirps the bird
cheap cheap mourns the flesh
melding with god knows what

what broke u down dreamer?
one figment too many rose up
to offer your destiny on past's plate
eat eat now and sleep as you wake

what broke me down?
winter, cold hands, empty eyes
the east wind, vanity, mourning
and today's dreams of yesterday

No Room

The house is full
The door shut
Under lock and key
To keep in the old
Exclude the new
Ban possibility

Pale light smoulders
Shadows lengthen
No invite
But a star is high
And a way unfolds
Drive on dark night

No room
No welcome
Such a long ride
House shut
Door filled in
Baby is born this cold eve

Outside

Afterword

When it was all over I asked the wisest man I could find which way to go. He looked me straight in the heart and said “Stay right here and let the silence fill you.”

don't go back

what will u find?

no child hides
no room prepared
no table laid

the dying are busy
burying the living

strange cloud eclipes
the star

the wind of repetition
blows and blows

don't go back
she is here

the child
travels with u

blood brother

god created man
man revealed woman
woman brought forth child with the help of god and man
child grew with the help of woman man and god
man and woman wondered at this image of each other and god that was before them
and so made another child who grew and murdered his brother who was also his image as well as the image of the man the woman and god
the brother's blood cried out for vengeance upon his blood brother who left marked by god to build a city and try to forget the loss of the image of himself the man the woman and god
sin is a dog that crouchest at your door said god to the marked man brother you mayest master it

decades of yearning broken promises and slavery piled up on the marked blood brother's children's children
until there came the elder brother of god's house who gave his life blood to answer the blood still crying out from vengeance's field
god forsaken son of humanity a bloody spectacle in the field
in a strange twist the elder brother son of humanity was betrayed for blood money by another brother's kiss
covered by shame blood money brought a grave
field of blood the earth became on the day the elder brother son of humanity died
at last son of man's blood covered the blood of the first man's son
blood brother for blood brother
vengeance is mine whispered god vengeance is mine
as the cross was implanted in the field and god's beloved son was slain

internal

earth
mixed in my hands

fire
smoldered in my heart

air
swirled in my lungs

water
seeped from my eyes

life
radiated outwards

elemental
words failed me

inside
I've taken it all

The soul cannot stand for too long

Reality tv
Breakfast tv
Celebrity

Free papers
News obsession
Tabloid lying

No good thought
No good word
No good act

No art
No passion
No pain

Memorise the few things that the soul cannot stand for too long
So as to avoid a slow, slow death
Rehearse them every morning whilst looking in the mirror
Because they are easily forgotten and very, very hard to resist

The Letter D – d

The letter D has it hard
The black sheep of the alphabet fold
A sound like no other to sum up
Life's devastations
Man's deviations
Woman's depressions
My desperate search
No other letter does it like a d
Don't doubt
It'll drag you down
Disaster creeping like the devil himself
Through every open door
Despair, disparage – too many dis' to mention
Too much deception to know a lie
Too much darkness to be able to see
Driven to distraction
So much death, departure
Damage done

The Ravine of Kidron

Strength from above
Pressed on every side
Life blood squeezed out
One drop of a bloody
Tide to flow

One betraying
As footsteps fill the air
Torches, lanterns, weapons
To extinguish
The world’s light

Taken down with a kiss
A sword’s flash
A severed ear
And one final miracle
In the garden of your circle
Breaking

Too Much

The bird's call to each other
The branches are bare
The frosty night governs the land
The birds twitter and then there is silence

The ancient poet said, 'let silence take you to the core of life'
What there can be melted down and remade?
Lies liquised and traded in
Love solidified and given out with the instruction:
'You must end the search for happiness'

Too much to stop
Too much to want to see the signpost pointing away from home
Too much water under the bridge not to be carried along by the past's dark tide
Too much agony, too much destiny
Too much talk to hear the still small centre that hides the reactor that locates the power
...

Centre of the earth
Centre of my soul

There is too much to know

I have proclaimed truth's river but have not always been able to swim in it

I tried to hear the voice of love in the midst of the world's empty spinning.
I tried to listen to the only one who can save - the only one mighty enough to deliver from deep darkness.
God of heaven came down and walked through the haze of sinfulness,
The cloud of sorrowfulness, upon the shards of forgetfulness, and reached the edges of me.
Some will call, open-handed, shame-faced, contrite, whilst others will remain tight shut.
Those who do not open their eyes unto vain shallow tidings and cover themselves with truthful writings - they are the ones who will be blessed!
The Lord has taken the beating, the whipping, the driving pain of nails through flesh and bone.
He does not need silence, empty chatter or pretense.
He does not need the deep shaft of injustice reaching down into his earth.
I say, "When will the dark corners be exposed by the ruthless search-light from on high?
So many cowering figures to unfold, and my heart's story yet to be told."
I have proclaimed truth's river but have not always been able to swim in it.
Lord, will you not destroy the giants of corruption tramping through the mazes of indifference?
Concrete and steel columns that seem immovable will crack from within and crumble upon the heads of the poor.
Swirling patches of darkness, like typhoons will rush down and catch men up, along with the things that they have made.
And I remain fixed in a closed space surveying my hands and the landscape for new signs of life.
Lord, there is enemy who comes only to rob, kill and destroy.
Broken vessels strewn the earth.
Lord, when will you lead the heavenly host out?
When will the gate swing wide and prosperity shout?
Lord, you stand on the edge of victory's dawn, as so many hearts are failing.
My eyes are dimming.
The ravages of sin have made so much of the earth uninhabitable.
Yet it is still lived in.
Lord of hosts, this is your home.

(based on Psalm 40, written using the Psalm Readings technique)

Cool of the Day

I didn’t know where you were,
So suddenly departed from your routine.
Was it always in your mind
To wander so far from our meeting place?
I didn’t know what to do.
How long was I to wait?
What was I to think?
I thought our love was real.
Strolling through leafy garden glades,
Smiling and talking, gazing upon bounty’s home.

Why did you hide when you heard my footsteps
Approaching amid the rustling branches?
The leaves you covered yourself with are withering.
My darling, when the sun goes down
You will not be able to find your way home.
All this beauty now casts a shadow.
I am fading from your memory,
And soon you will no longer know who you are.
Fading light touches my face tonight,
The first of many evenings in alone.

But before you go take these clothes,
Sewn from skins that speak of a sacrifice
Many years from now.
A sign, my dearest love,
Of how I would allow myself to be hunted down.
When you stepped out from behind that tree
I knew I would hang on another
In the cool of a different day,
Through the longest of nights.
But, right now, I don’t want you to be cold.

Dictator

Dictator,
Were you a boy who played in trees,
Ran down dusty lanes so as not to be late for tea?

Dictator,
I hide and am hungry.
I dare not run far for a mine may greet me before mother.

Dictator,
You live behind such high gates,
Whilst a slow death march into terror's marsh is our fate.

Dictator,
Did you dream as a boy,
And wake needing a father's hand on your shoulder?

Dictator,
I can no longer remember the features of my father's face.
Your image fills my every waking moment.

Dictator,
I am so small.
Your power is a fast-flowing river full of bodies.

Dictator,
What do you recall tonight,
As the wind blows through the dry grasses?

Dictator,
I wanted to be a doctor,
A ship's captain, an explorer, a pilot...

Dictator,
I wanted to be a teacher, a builder of houses, a writer...
Anything, anything at all, but not, never, ever, a freedom-fighter.

Pure Steel

The flashing blade
Will blind the enemy's eye
For a moment in time

The advantage gained
Sure-footed on the Rock
With a firm grip

Thrust forward the Spirit's sword
The pure steel will not fail
Jesus is Lord